Week 6 Preview

Retirement and Pain: When A Heartache Won't Heal
By: Willie Stroker Willie Stroker: Yahoo Columnist

There comes a time in one's career when you just can't do it anymore. No matter how much effort, practice, brainstorming, and time you put in; things just seem to not go your way anymore. For some, however, this feeling would not even be a thought in their mind, considering they never had a winning season in their fantasy football lives [i.e. Catena, PJ, etc.]. Does this feeling evoke someone to just want to quit and give up forever? According to some All Pro contenders, the answer is: maybe.

Just for the record, PJ will not be reviewed, previewed, or anything of any sort for reasons of constant annoyingness and un-comprehension of the words Fuck You.

Anyone who plays fantasy football in any way, shape or form, strives for one goal and one goal only. They want a championship, so that they can brag and annoy anyone and everyone else involved of how they kicked ass and took names last year with this sleeper pick and that key pickup, etc. Yet only a few will ever attain this feat and be able to stand tall at the top of the mountain, for others although, there caught at the bottom licking their wounds.

Since the start of All Pro, no one has lost as much as a certain team currently. In the inaugural All Pro Season [2004] Kevin and the Chinese Eggrolls started the season at a hefty 0-5 record. Yet bearing all emotional abuse form his All Pro colleagues, Kevin would go on to run off 5 wins in a row, launching him into the second to last spot in the playoffs. The playoffs was where he would get hot winning two more in a row, only to fall to Nicky Coiro and the "Penguins."

Can Kevin pull off another comeback season and make the playoffs? Maybe a more important question: Can Kevin win a game after going down 16 straight games in All Pro? Speaking of winning, Kevin's week 6 opponent is a struggling Josh and company. Let's go over Josh's season so far, in reverse order.

- Josh goes down to Sparky and his Glory by one point on the last play of the game in MNF's Jets v.s. Dolphins, thanks to Ronnie Brown scoring against Josh's Jet Defense with 6 seconds remaining. Josh is found by his mother hiding under his bed, refusing to go to school and refusing to come to dinner.
- Josh defeats another struggler, in Phil and the Romosapiens. Josh as well as everyone else feel he has turned the corner at this point, he has returned to his winning ways, or has he?
-Josh loses his 3rd game straight to open the season. Josh starts panicking, starts eating more within the course of the day. Also takes up smoking Newport Cigarettes very frequently to deal with the pressure laid upon him from fantasy football.
-Josh loses to Gabe, in a well fought battle. Josh knows, or think he knows that it's no big deal, considering he's started 0-2 a few seasons in his career.
-Josh goes down in the opener to Catena. Josh, extremely embarrassed, tries to cope with the defeat by talking shit and making excuses.
-Draft Day: Josh drafts Steven Jackson, as well as a plethora of Tight Ends for no apparent reason. He tells everyone, and i quote, "You'll see, you'll all see."
- Josh goes into the season prepared and ready for any and all comers.

The downward spiral for Josh is one of momentous proportions, considering his past success in this league. That is the reasoning behind his recent cigarette infested madness, he claims to retire if he is Kevin's first win in 17 weeks. Retirement is a word storming in and out of All Pro combatants' mouths in recent posts. Phil also claims to retire if he goes down to the G-Job 187 this week, in fact he was the author of the original retirement threat.

Week 1 was an eye opener for Phil, going down by 40 plus points to the G-Job. Although at that point no one else saw it, but this would be Gary's only win in 5 weeks, going down 4 times, terribly i may add, in the following four weeks.

Week 6 has some major ramifications on the future of All Pro Fantasy Football. Will Kevin finally win? Or will he go down as the best loser of all time [Best because its fun to watch him lose and flip out on society]? Will Josh get another shot at redemption? Or Will his cigarette infested addiction continue? Will Phil go down on the "B-Job" for a second time this year? Or will he fall into a group of All Time All Pro losers with the likes of Mike Catena, Joey Catena, Mike Guiliano, Matt P., and Mike Morrone? Will Dave ever find Waldo? All these questions will be answered come Sunday, yet for some teams in this league, Sunday can most certainly wait.


I AM THE #1 WILLIE STROKER!

Willie Stoker is Yahoo! Sports' national columnist. Send Willie an email at Willie1Stroker@yahoo.com